Stage spotlight, delight or plight?

a deep cry within my heart
my feet stood still before could I start
a scary thought within my mind
that left me numb, blank and blind
a miserable noise heard my ears
I shut 'em down and shed in tears

A shock was there in my hair
that feel was weird, solemn and rare
my tongue was cut and heart gloom
I jerk my hand and left the room

my name in headlines was all I wished before
well, I still got my treat, but 'twas sore
that day set an insane score
thy touchdown 'twas, but mine, a slip on the floor

those talks for me
still pinch my soul
I hear them till date
and it breaks me whole

"where I was", "when was it"
don't ask, it just that I quit
'cause if I share the full tale with you,
all we'll hear is "boooooooo...."

for I let ye know, I managed that time, but again can't I
I won't get up that stage to those stupid smiles
or I'll break anew for the same thing
alike that night, when I stopped to sing